Monday, August 10, 2015

Dear Daughter

There are so many things I want P to know, but I know the day will come when she will go out of her way to not listen to me. I'm waiting for this day, I'm prepared, but I am still dreading it. There are so many things I want to teach her and to tell her, but when the time comes I know she will not want to listen to what her mom has to say. I get it. So maybe, if I'm a little proactive, I can get all my advice out to her in writing beforehand, and then maybe one day she'll see it and listen to me. Maybe....

Dearest P,
I want you to know that growing up seems like the hardest time of your life, but trust me, it isn't. This is the easiest time. You have no responsibilities except for your own future. Do not worry about anything else, for I am taking on those worries for you. Let me stay up late at night tossing and turning, wondering if the kids at school are being nice to you, whether or not we can afford to pay that speeding ticket you got, if you're going to do great on your SATs (you will), if that boy that made you cry will get what's coming to him....please, let me.

And P, let me tell you that not everyone you meet growing up will matter to you as an adult. Those bullies at school and mean girls that taunted you, you will be better than them and you will forget their names and faces over time. The teacher that marked up your paper with red ink will be proven wrong. The friends that didn't invite you and hung out with you behind your back will be replaced by true friends that will literally drop everything to bring you a bottle of wine because you had a bad day. And the long days at that shitty part time job you're working will seem so distant when you're putting in hours at a job that brings you a sense of accomplishment and happiness.

And P, not everything will work how you want it to. The boy you thought you were going to marry will break your heart. You might fail your driving test the first time around and your best friend will stab you in the back. You will spend nights crying, but you will spend even more staying up late laughing. You are going to struggle in school and moral dilemmas. You will lie, you will stretch the truth, you will hide things from me, at times you might be too honest with me, you will hurt feelings and regret decisions you made, you will make me cry and tell me how much you hate me, but's okay.

I will love you more than anyone could ever think they could love you, and my love will stay unconditional no matter how hard your adolescent self tries to break that, and I will hug you and hold you as long as you let me. And if the time comes when you feel you no longer need me, know that I will still be here, waiting for you, supporting you and loving you, and giving you advice even when you no longer want it.

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