I'm exhausted. I cannot get up anymore. I feel defeated. And then there is this group of people standing in front of me yelling that they know I can do it, get up, keep going, you can do it!!
Well ya know what? I can't do it. And I don't think I should have to. I should not have to be a strong person all of the time. I want to inspire people. I want to lift others up when they feel down, but at the same time I want others to know it's okay that when you're down to not want to get back up. So here I am, telling you that it's okay. Stay down there a little longer. Take a nap. I am not going to force you to get back up before you're ready. Because I know firsthand that it is completely draining to keep getting up. Sometimes you need a minute.
I am giving you tired souls permission today to take all the minutes you need. Loathe in self pity for a few seconds, wish things were different, remember when things were easier and simpler and happier. Then, spend as much time as you need after that thinking of your next step, your game plan. But take your time. You do not need to figure things out right now. I am giving you permission to not give a damn today. Don't do the dishes. Let the laundry sit one more day. Stop texting people back. Do nothing. Self care does not need to be complicated. It does not need to be massages and girls nights and pedicures. Sometimes self care is just doing jack shit because it's the only way to remove yourself from how crazy things are getting around you. Sometimes self care is staying in the car just a few more minutes to jam out to your favorite song. Sometimes self care is a candy bar or non-diet soda. I'm not here to judge; do what you gotta do.
But I am TIRED ya'll! I need some self care. My knees are buckling and my back is breaking. I cannot be strong anymore today. I know warriors are suppose to be courageous and aggressive, who fight in battle and never give up, but hey, a warrior needs a day off here and there.
Today I am waving my white flag. I am putting down my shield. Warrior mama out.