Helping others with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders is something that is now near and dear to me. It is my motivation. It is my drive to keep going and to keep bettering myself, and through this, I have become less selfish and more empathetic to people from all situations.
That being said, I have also found myself deeply emerged in the organization Post Partum Progress, specifically their upcoming event, The Climb. I have talked about this briefly before, but it is the world's largest event in raising awareness for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. It is a great cause and an amazing fundraiser. I want to do what I can to help the cause not only monetarily, but also to network and be around other survivors, and maybe even those that are still suffering so that I can share with them my story. My success story. However, it looks like I'll be doing the climb alone.
To tell the truth, I legitimately don't know who I would ask to join me. I could bring P, but Hubs will probably stay home with her so I don't have to worry about weather or caring for her during the event. So...now what? My two biggest supporters will stay home, and I will go. Alone? What.
I was talking to Hubs this evening about this and how I wish there was someone I could ask to go with me, but no one knows about my PPD (except him and my parents, of course). I never opened up to a friend, nor admitted after the fact that I had struggled and am still undergoing recovery. I haven't told anyone about my deep involvement with the PPD community or why I've been flooding their Facebook news feeds lately with requests for donations to the organization. And the crazier part? No one has asked either.
But it got me thinking...why haven't I told anyone? I am not ashamed. I don't feel guilt anymore. So what's the big deal? Here I am, advocating for a cause and I can't even bring myself to share my story to those closest to me, but have no problem in doing so with strangers (you), apparently. Am I just as bad as everyone else? Am I ashamed? Do I feel guilty? I suggested that maybe I haven't told anyone is because I don't want their pity; it's too late for that. Hubs agreed. If I tell them, will they look at me differently? Will they treat me differently? Will they feel bad for me? I don't want any of that. But I do want their help in raising awareness. I need their help in eliminating the stigma that society has on new mothers, and that new mothers clearly have about themselves. I also need the help in overcoming my own stupid insecurities that I may not be accepted as the person they thought I was anymore. And who needs rejection?
The Climb is in 7 days. Empowerment, pride, encouragement, courage, bravery and strength will come in 7 days. In 7 days I will have no excuse to feel fear or judgement from others because I will have met, spoken and connected with others who have been exactly where I have been. In 7 days I will know I am not alone and that together we can make a difference.
Please help the cause and help be a part of the solution: https://www.crowdrise.com/eliciaweber-COTD2015/fundraiser/sarahm2