Thursday, June 11, 2015

I Feel Ya, Mama

There I was. 22, single, no kids, college, part-time job, partying every weekend, doing a regular shopping trip to Target. There they in yoga pants, hair in a pony tail, baby in a carseat and screaming three year old riding shotgun. Thanks for ruining my day, annoying little kid. And really, you can't get your kid to shut up? Can you not HEAR them screaming????

This is when my foot goes in my mouth. I hear ya mama. I feel ya. You do what you gotta do. See, I didn't get it until now. I may not have my own screaming toddler to accompany my baby, but I do see where you're coming from.

Parents cannot hear their own childs' whining. Yes, that parent in Target is perfectly aware their kid is screaming at the top of their lungs for a toy, and no, they are not just going to give it to them to shut them up. See, the parent has tuned them out. They have one thing on their mind: getting the shit on the list and getting out of there in one piece. Oh, that sound bothers you? Tough shit. You only have to listen to it during your shopping trip, but as a parent, we get to listen to it all fricking day. And no, buying them that toy will not soothe them. Get over it.

Baby on Board. I used to be really annoyed by those little Baby on Board signs hanging in car windows. Yeah, we get it, you have a baby, rub it in my face. Actually, these little signs are to let EMT's know that in case of emergency there is a child in the car. Sorry adults, but kids and babies are a priority (if you're a parent, you're already okay with this). So the only way for help to know to help those that can't help themselves, is by seeing these little indicator signs.

Sweatpants in public. I am still against this, but hey, I get it. You work your ass off all day, sometimes all night too. You juggle kids, a job, the house and a husband, and sometimes you just don't give a shit and want to enjoy yourself, and as a busy mom, yourself enjoys wearing sweatpants. Sometimes even in public. Go for it mama! Power to ya! Because I'm sure as soon as you get home your work pants will go on and you won't get another second to relax again.

Parents who drink. Before P, I thought parents who enjoyed a drink or two when their babies were around were bad parents. What kind of message are you sending? Uhh, how about a relaxing message? It's legal, it's moderated and it's delicious. Who is this hurting? I am not condoning getting drunk around your kids, but enjoying a drink here and there? Hey, whatever keeps you happy and sane. Go for it. Have one. Have two. And enjoy it.

Those parents must be so embarrassed. Nope. Not even a little bit. I once had to change P''s leaky, poopy diaper on the floor of a restaurant. Did I feel bad? Hell no. Sorry folks, but you were a baby once too. I am helping keep the Earth populated and I possibly just birthed the person that will find the cure to cancer, so back off while I wipe her butt. And let me tell you, that after you give birth, few things embarrass you and even fewer things will bring you shame. So no, those parents don't feel embarrassed. It's life. They're doing what they have to do and they really don't care what you think about it.

That car tapping it's brakes at a stoplight. Tapping your brakes will not make the light turn green, but it will soothe a crying baby. On occasion I have had the jerk in front of me at a light that sits there rocking their brakes until it turns green, and then I realized I am now that jerk. P doesn't like the car. She has to be in the right mood to want to be in there, and if she is not in the right mood it is a killer riding with her, but somehow fast speeds, turns, bumps, and rocking those brakes seem to help the situation.

Stay at home moms are lazy. Well this couldn't be further from the truth. Maternity leave was boring. So boring. I sat there and watched TV all day, took care of P, load of laundry here and there, but it was pretty boring. I was also severely depressed. Now that I have networked with other moms in the area, many of whom are stay at home moms, I could not be further from the truth. I don't know how they do it! They are running errands, taking care of their kids, sometimes eachothers kids so they can go to an appointment or the store, etc, and they are literally keeping their entire families lives together by making sure all is running smoothly. And on top of that, they are home all day with crying, whining, sticky, cranky kids. I don't know about you, but I am not that strong. I get frustrated, I get irritated, and there is no way I could be around that all day. Props to in-home day care mamas too; all you ladies are warriors!!!

I can admit when I'm wrong. This is one of those times. I spent pretty much my whole life judging other parents, sharing my 'wisdom' on what I thought was right, and then I actually had a child. I have officially earned the right to judge you, fellow parents, but I won't because I get it. It is what it is. You don't care what I think anyways. Honestly, I don't care what you think either. But none of us were given a manual on what to do, so we're all just trying the best we can in the best ways we know how, and whatever method you're using, use it with all your might. You're doing great.

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